How that happens that you get angry or mad? What about stress? How is the stress generated? Where does it come from? Stress and all other adverse emotions. Come on, let’s dive into this together to discover the truth behind your emotions.
What creates negative emotions?
How many times, have you been wondering why some negative emotions come to you? Why do you feel them? The fear, anger, anxiety, or stress. Do you think this is something natural? Something normal? If you for example will take into consideration fear. Did you know that you, like every other human being, come to this world only with one fear? Just one. It is a fear of loud noises. Amazing, isn’t it? You haven’t been afraid of anything else. All other fears you’ve learned throughout your life.
Most, if not all your emotions and the triggering them circumstances, are actually picked up by you during your childhood. You see others reacting in a particular way to specific circumstances. You observe and learn your surroundings. Some emotions come from your parents. Others might come from their or your friends. Even from books, you were reading or movies, you were watching. You memorise those details at the subconscious level and now whenever something triggers them, you just respond the way you have learned.
Sometimes, it is so fast, that you might not even notice the small gap, that is always there for you to make the choice of how do you want to respond. Other times, you might notice that gap and how first something might happen, arising a thought in you, based on your saved memories. And this little thought will pull another one to you to think about. And this one will bring another, and as in a chain reaction, depending on the thought you start to feel related emotions.
Why then you would like, or not, control your thoughts?
Ok, why would you? Is this actually possible? To control your thoughts? What this can give you? Well, surprisingly you can control your thoughts. It is possible. But still, why would you want to do this? What kind of benefits, if at all, this can grant you? Let’s consider a simple situation. You are talking with your friend. However, clearly, you see that there is something wrong. Your friend does not want to talk about that. Or maybe it doesn’t want to talk at all. It just buttles this up.
You can of course push your friend to open up and to say what is it. Or you might start to think that he or she is mad at you. That it is your fault. You either said or done something that offends your friend and now, this is the reason this situation happen. You might start to feel sad or guilty or even angry at yourself that you’ve made some stupid mistake. That you insult your friend. Then you also might get angry at your friend for feeling offended and not wanting to talk with you. And so on. Do you see where all this going?
How about, you would, seeing this and seeing the creepy thoughts sneaking at you, say to yourself. Well, his or her right is to have that kind of mood and don’t want to share it with me. When this will get over we can talk about that and get clear what happens. I am free of guilt and any other negative thoughts and emotions. This whole situation does not mean and does not have to be, in any way, related to me. At this moment, I can just show my support to this person and be there for him or her. Isn’t this kind of approach better?
How can you control your thoughts?
Exactly, how? It might not be or sound so simple at first. Yet, after some practice, you can do this quite easy and fast. First of all, is more domesticating your thoughts than controlling them in a straight meaning of that word. You accept that this kind of thought arises in you. You acknowledge that and allow yourself to have it. Knowing that this thought does not determines who you are. You simply just have it. Now the funny part. What do you want to do with that thought?
As in most cases, you have options. The more aware and conscious you are the more options you might find in given circumstances. However, the most basic options you have, are the following. You can either try to ignore that thought. Pushing it aside, which usually at some point in time ends up with a huge burst up and disaster. How do you like this idea? Not really appealing, right? So what else you can do?
You can, of course, allow this thought to consume your attention straight away and set you in a related to it, mood. Or even to push you to act, based on these feelings it produces in you. Lastly, seeing what is going on. What kind of thought is raising in your mind, you can acknowledge it and simply switch it to something contradicting it. Replacing it with something positive. By some thought that will motivate you. Build you, give you strength and create uplifting emotions, such as happiness, gratefulness, love and so on.
As you see you are not a slave of your thoughts and emotion. You can domesticate them by simply practising watching them and what can trigger the negative ones. This practice will make the choice-making gap larger and larger every time, giving you a bigger chance to consciously choose what you want to think, feel and how to react.
I would greatly appreciate it if you would share, in the comments, what interesting and positive you found in this material. If you would like to see more of this check the links below.
In any case, if you would like to know more or need some support, I would love to help you with this. Just drop me a message.
Blessings upon you my friend.
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