You may find yourself in a situation with a group of people where you need to be the leader or the “bad guy”, who needs to use manipulation to get things done. It happens. And it’s not always bad. But, have you ever stopped to think, about how much, that behaviour is actually affecting others? How can you know for sure if your actions are effective or even being understood? And how can you know if your use of the manipulation was necessary?
What is manipulation?
Manipulation is a term that is often misunderstood and misused. We often use it to refer to someone who’s intentionally being mean or hurtful—but manipulation can be much wider in scope than that. In its most basic form, manipulation is when you use other people to get what you want. This can include things like making someone feel guilty so they’ll do something for you. Or threatening, for example, to withhold affection if your partner doesn’t agree with your position on an issue.
For some people, manipulation is an essential skill when it comes to getting what they want out of life—and this can be either positive or negative manipulation. Many salespeople use positive manipulation tactics on prospective clients because these tactics work like magic when it comes time for closing deals (or making sales). However, there are also negative manipulators who exploit others with negative intentions; these types of manipulators are considered abusers and bullies, who seek only personal gain at the expense of others around them, usually those who fall under their control.
Manipulation is a powerful tool. A lot of people thou, think and use manipulation as a way to get ahead in life. But keep in mind two things. One, it’s not really something you want most people around you to think of you, as someone who manipulates others. The reason for this is that manipulation often makes other people feel used or bad about themselves, which isn’t something most people like feeling nor to think about another person they know or love. Secondly, you also don’t want yourself being manipulated by someone else if possible either! It feels awful when someone tries to manipulate us into doing things we didn’t want to do or acting against our own interests, just because they wanted us to.
Are you manipulating others more than they or you think?
You may be manipulating others and not even know it. If you’re a “manipulator,” congratulations! You possess the power to get things done, whether that’s getting people to do what you want or letting them think they’ve done it themselves. But like any tool, manipulation can be used for good or evil. It’s important to understand how your personality affects those around you so that you can use it in ways that are beneficial and ethical.
For example: Doing this well means knowing when not to be manipulative at all. If too much manipulation is used on people who don’t need it, then there will be a backlash against both parties involved. Manipulation, used at the right moments, can be a good thing. Manipulating people to do things that are good for them is a very common practice, and it’s not always considered manipulative. For example, a doctor will often encourage patients to change their diets or exercise more, in order to improve their health. The doctor isn’t lying about the facts. Rather, they’re manipulating the patient by encouraging them to take action, that will improve their health.
If you’re finding, that you manipulate others more than they think, it might be time to reevaluate what you’re doing. Manipulation is not always a good thing. As it is not always a bad thing either. It might sometimes look as funny or endearing, but this is not always the case. It can have negative consequences on your relationships with the people around you. It might cause more harm than do good, either to you or to others, so be careful if you want to use it. In any case, would be good for you to know…
How can you stop manipulations?
First of all, simply just stop and think about what you are doing. Are you being manipulative? Are you concerned with your own needs, but not the other person’s? Manipulating someone to just get something out of them—like money, attention or power—is never okay. But if your motive is to help someone who is suffering, then manipulation can sometimes be a good thing. So, consider what would you like to achieve using manipulation and then, use your conscience to decide if using it will be the right thing to do.
Manipulation can be subtle and may not even occur to us at first, but we must recognize our own manipulation and stop it before it gets out of hand. If we don’t recognize, that we are manipulating others, at first (and sometimes even after), we may become accustomed to manipulating them, because it’s so easy for us. However, this will only lead to feelings of guilt for both parties involved in the relationship later on down the road! And besides: why do that? Instead of manipulating people into doing things for you…You might want just to ask them nicely instead!
A very similar to manipulation is management skill. To this extent that it may seem like they go hand in hand with one another. So learning how to manage is actually a very good place to start. You can learn how to manage situations and people by taking classes on the subject, finding mentors that understand the process of managing well or even better how to lead others. This would be certainly a better skill to develop to communicate with others, than resorting back to manipulation tactics
Shortly we discussed the topic of manipulation, finding what is it. Is it bad or good? When might it be a good thing? We also investigate a little, if you are a manipulative person and what can you do about it. Even more, should you do anything about it? Finally, we discover how can you stop manipulate others, if you would decide to.
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