How many times have you heard people complaining about something they are not really happy about in their lives? Perhaps you also have that kind of habit to do so? What makes you act this way? Would you like to continue this or rather stop? How can you stop complaining? Let us check this out…
What makes you do so?
Have you noticed how many people complain and on how many different topics? Bad job, health, luck, spouse, earnings, bills, and so on and so forth. This list sometimes looks like a neverending one. Even a lot of those considered to “have everything” that adds up to happiness, complain about lacking something or that something went not the way they wanted. You might be thinking, why this is happening. What makes people complain? Especially those who look like born with a silver spoon.
The truth is, at least one of the truths, that throughout the years a lot of us forgot about a few simple, yet powerful life facts. This caused, that a lot of people started to focus on the negative parts of life. On things that could go wrong. Others, by observing them, started to look for even more pieces of evidence for that. You probably guessed that they found those proofs and the circle repeats over and over. One group was searching for flaws and others, observers, started that kind of research as well, bringing even more proofs.
And here we are. After so many years of observing others, doing those complaining research and hearing others complaining, we just memorise that this is a kind of normal thing. If you not doing this, not following the ‘trend’, that just means something is wrong with you. Is it thou? Fortunately, there always was and still is, another group and recently there is a quite noticeable growth in it. But we will come back to that. For now, let’s think about the answer …
Why would you like to continue?
You know. Why you might feel the urge to complain about something in your life? But do you actually like to complain? Is this makes you feel any better? Does it improve your wellbeing, self-esteem or life satisfaction? Or it is lowering your mood? How it is with you? How do you feel when you complain? But honestly, search for the answer deep in you. How do you feel, doing this? Spend some time sitting in a quiet place and thinking about these questions. If you like to share your discoveries, there is a comment section, feel free to use it.
You might also want to take something to write and start to write about your feelings on this subject. Think of paper. As it is often called. This technique helps with gathering your thoughts. Sort them out and actually realise what kind of thoughts are fuming in your head. So write down answers to the questions from above. And also, to the following ones. What complaining is giving me? What are the benefits of it? Are there any? Do I want to hold to this behaviour?
One more thing. Have you noticed, that complaining brings more things to complain about? It is like one complaint just pull out from your memory another and then another. Or it makes you notice more things around you to complain about. Like a magic tissue trick, the one when the magician pulls a row of tied tissues. Is that what you like your life to look like? Seeing only the things to be unhappy with? To complain about? If no, and I hope you did answer ‘No’, let’s think about how can you be more positive and …
How can you start liking things existing in your life?
So, when you finally get to the conclusion, that complaining is actually worthless and it is lowering your mood and well-being, maybe it is time to make up your mind and stop. Or rather start. Start thinking in a different way. Start searching for other things, positive aspects of life, job, kids, spouse and so on. But what if I see just the flaws? – You might ask. Well, I haven’t said it will be easy. Or did I? There will be some effort required, but it is worth it. Find out that for yourself.
Just for a week start new research. Look for good aspects of things you were usually complaining about. Set yourself a goal to find at least three such things in each item, person or situation. Not only that. When you find them, think – why it is something good. Evaluate this a little bit. Put your heart into that exercise and after this week, write down in some notebook how do you feel. How many positive things have you found and how many good things happen to you?
Lastly, practice showing gratitude. You can start to feel and show appreciation, reading your notes, your answers, after this trial week. This is another very powerful tool in your sleeve that you can use it. So why would you not? Would you try to break a stone with a little hammer if you have at your disposal a pneumatic one? Unless you are an artisan who is working on some sculpture, you would go for the powerful tool, isn’t it? So why not do the same with improving your liking of things in your life?
Shortly we discover reasons for ‘what’ makes people complain. ‘Why’ and if you want to continue this ‘trend’. And ‘how’ can you start like things in your life. As Les Brown said – Do easy things and have a hard life or do hard things and have an easy life.
I would greatly appreciate it if you would share with me and others, what interesting and positive you found in this material. More similar topics can be found on the links below. If you would like to get support in finding the solution to your struggles, drop me a message and let’s have a chat to see if this is a good fit for both of us.
Blessings upon you my friend.
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