Are you a people pleaser?

Are you a people pleaser?

What is your reaction when someone asks you to do something or to help with something? Do you rush, dropping all your activities, to fulfil someone’s request? What about the situation when you are really busy, with some important, for you, task? Or if someone asks you to do something that you do not really want to? Do you still agree to undertake, whatever is that someone request from you? No matter your thoughts and feelings? Not listening to your inner voice, saying that you don’t want to or can’t take any more tasks? Just trying to be nice and liked by other people?

It is good to be helpful. To give others a hand. To make other people happy. Though, in that kind of doing is hidden a great danger. You might be focused so much, on pleasing other people, that you actually lose yourself. You will not have time for yourself, for your needs, activities and duties. In effect, you will start to lose your motivation to do anything at all. You will suffer because of this. Your happiness level will go down. You will be rushing to manage to fulfil all your duties and other people requests, not having time for anything else. But you will be liked by people. Will you?

Well, let’s look at this closer. When most of the people, will show you appreciation and gratitude for your help. There might be some units, that will try to take advantage of you and your readiness attitude. The things you need to practice are recognition of that kind of cases and assertiveness in dealing with them. Knowing when you can allow yourself to agree to help. And when and how to say “no”. Whenever you are busy with your duties or pleasures, feel free and innocent to politely say “no”. If you have your duties to accomplish, know that they are equally important as someones else tasks. If you do not want to do something feel safe to say politely “no”. You do not have to explain in details why you don’t want to do something. If you relaxing, feel innocent to disagree with someone’s request. You deserve some free time and relaxation as well.

Remember though, to be polite. To do this in a kind and respectful manner. State your mind without any feeling of guilt or anger. Confidently and assertively say “no”. To make it easier, for you to say this, and for the other person, to understand and agree with your decision, you might use different technics. Like saying “no but…” and then, you can give a counter-proposal to the request. Be open for discussion with the requester, as this way, you find a solution, that will satisfy both of you. Remember, even if it is great to be perceived as a helpful and kind person. This does not mean you need to agree to every demand for your time, help and attention.

Blessings upon you my friend.

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