Who is the most important person for you? Is it your mum or dad? Maybe your sibling or grandparent? Kids? Husband? Wife? Is that it? If so I would like you to reconsider this. Let’s check why, the most important person, in your life, should be you. Moreover, what does this mean? Will you be an egoist? Is this a bad thing? How can you be a positive egoist? Enjoy this material to learn more.
What means to be an egoist?
How were you treated when you were a child? Were, your parents, showing you love, understanding and care? How is it now? Do people respect you? Show you appreciation? How about you? About your feelings and wellbeing? Do you show yourself appreciation and respect? How do you treat yourself? How important are you for yourself? Are you find yourself sometimes stuck in some unpleasant or even harmful situations, just because you don’t want to be considered a rude person and you do not want to harm another person feelings? What about your feelings? Your wellbeing?
Usually, when someone is putting their own good upfront, we tend to call this person an egoist, right? You might recall, from childhood, that your guardians were teaching you to always take care of others first. Regardless of whether this approach is good or not, should you do this all the time? Why? To not be called an egoist? But who actually is an egoist? Is it always a bad, negative thing to be one? To care for yourself first? Should you put yourself first? What if you have kids? What in that kind of situation? What is your opinion? As usual, share it in the comment section. I’ll read every comment and I will respond to everyone.
Society on one hand is pricing people who care for themselves. People who do not allow anyone to treat them unfairly. Who does not allow anyone, to use them against their will. On the other hand thou, this kind of behaviour is labelled as something wrong. And surely there is a thin line between these two kinds of egoism. There is the one that is carrying only for itself and no one else at all. And then, there is also an egoist who put himself first, as it knows that, when he or she, will be well cared for, it can take care of other needs better and share with others if required, as its feel happy and fulfilled and does not think – If I will help another person I might end up with nothing for myself.
Why is it good to be an egoist?
Now, knowing this difference between those bad and good egoists, you might want to actually start to be one. The good and healthy one, I mean. Who is aware that it is equally important as everyone else. For example, why should you allow others to enjoy something at your expense? Why should you sacrifice yourself for someone’s benefit? Is this a good thing? What this is giving you? What do you feel in such moments? Do you really feel better doing that? Sacrificing yourself?
Look deep in you. What kind of emotions this kind of behaviour, this sacrificing triggers in you? Are those good emotions? Like happiness, joy, love? Or maybe it is anger, frustration, worthlessness. It might be that you are covering those emotions, and do this so well, that even you, can not find them, feel them. By your whole uprising, you could be told and thought, that you need to care for others first. That this is the way and any other behaviour is wrong. That you should, or maybe even have to be proud, feel good, sacrificing yourself for others. And this kind of teachings makes you cover deeply your true feelings about the sacrificing.
I am aware, that now, someone may quote the bible, saying – But god and his son show us, that we need to be humble and look after others. Gods son even sacrifice himself for us. Yes, that is all true. But, Jesus also said ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ So how can you do this, how can you show love to others if you sacrifice yourself? Tell me, is sacrificing self, same as showing love to self? Wouldn’t be a better example of love, if you take care of yourself first, so then you can share all your goodness and positive emotions with others?
How can you be the most important for yourself?
Being aware of all that, you might start to wonder, so how can I be a good egoist. How to do this without crossing this thin line? How to do this, without endangering self to being called an egoist, with that negative sound? There is sad news. No matter how careful you might want to be, always there might be someone calling you this way. But, in fairness, are you responsible for someone else perception of you, if you are true with yourself? Well? What do you think? I am sure you have the answers to this and the earliest questions already, and I would happily learn them from you. So please, share them below. In the meantime, let’s think about this together.
You know, that the negative kind of egoist cares only for itself. No one else matters, right? Usually, this type is so focused on carrying for itself and getting everything for itself, that it goes through life hurting others feelings, and in worst cases not only feelings. Nearly like going over dead bodies, just to get what it wants. Just to have it for itself, not wanting to share its wellness, and I don’t mean only the material kind of wellness, but the emotional, spiritual as well. So this kind of person is making all efforts just to gather as much as it can, just to have it for itself. You know now, what you might want to avoid.
Thou, how can you avoid that? What if you ask yourself, before any action, why am I doing that? Why do I want to have this thing? Do this activity? Is this just to show up? To be admired by others? To prove to others that I am better than them? Is that your main reason for those kinds of actions? If not, if you think something along these lines – OK, I want to have this, do this, cause it makes me feel good but also, thanks to this, I will be able to be more helpful to others. that is fine, don’t you agree? Or if someone is asking you to do something or for help, but you are really tired, wouldn’t be better to first take care of your needs?
As we shortly uncover there are two types of egoists. You know now the difference. Also, you might consider becoming the good type and start to be important for yourself, taking care of your needs first, to be able to help better other people. I am encouraging you to at least give it a try
Also, share your thoughts and feelings about this material in the comments. I will read and respond to all of them.
In any case, you would like to know more or need some support, I would love to help you with this. Just drop me a message in the comment section.
Blessings upon you my friend.
See a typo or inaccuracy? Please contact us so we can fix it!
Mentality & Life Coach I will support YOU in finding Clarity, growing your business, creating a clear plan of action and overcoming any blockages. Contact me for details and so we can see if this is a good fit. Facebook - LinkedIn - Contact page.