Can I change you? Why not?

Can I change you? Why not?

How many times did you get annoyed by someone’s behaviour? How many times did you get mad at someone’s actions? How many times, you were trying to dictate to someone, how he or she should act? Or, maybe even, how this person should think. What it should say. And so on. Or maybe, it was you, who has to listen to, that kind of, let’s call it, bits of advice? It was not nice, right? No matter, on which side you were, it was an unpleasant experience. Probably very frustrating and annoying as well, right? It is a very common experience though.

The thing is, that you might not accept other people way of living. You see their life and compare it to the model of life in your head, which, in your opinion is the best one. The ideal one. So you try to “help” this person, to improve her or his life experience. You might try to convince this person to agree with your vision, by all means. Searching for arguments, to prove you right. To show the advantages of your vision of life. Though, this kind of doing create resistance and has usually the contrary effect. Moreover, it makes both of you annoyed, frustrated and even angry.

Is this scenario sound familiar? Is it something you experience in your life? Maybe quite often? Or maybe just from time to time? Is there anything you can do? What is it, that you can do? The first thing, you can do is, stop for a second and think, why is it so important for me, to change this person? Is my way, really so good? Is my way good for this person? What I actually know about this person? About this person life, believes, circumstances? What gives me the right, to want to change this person in any way? What gives me confidence, that it is me and my vision, that is the best one for this person? Think about this for a while. Consider this, but go deeper. Do not let, your proud, stop you, from finding the true answer.

When you answer these questions, you might be surprised by the results. You might understand one, essential truth. The truth, that you do not want to admit to. That your style, might be the best for you, but not for this person. That you have no power over other people. You can not control them, and they can live the way they want. At this moment, you might want to consider, to focus yourself on the good side of others. Understand, that those people, have their own lives, in which they need to cope with many things and they do their best. You might want to talk with them, listening carefully to them, without patronising or judging. Empathize with them, make them feel accepted, for who they are. This will help you, understand the other person and reduce the tension and annoyment. in both of you.

Blessings upon you my friend.

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