Would you like to be able to change someone, who, in your opinion is doing something wrong? Or maybe you would like to change someone because he or she is telling you something offending? Would be nice if you could change someone’s behaviours and way of thinking. Having a power to change others way of acting. Their, bad in your opinion, habits. Be able to change someone’s style, way of processing information. Approach to you, or some situation, issue? Don’t you agree? Would you like to have such power? How much this idea is appealing to you? Do you like it? Probably a lot.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, this is just a fantasy. A dream. And, to be honest, not to nice nor noble one. Why is that? Well, for a starter, how would you feel, in the situation, when someone would be trying to force you to change? You might already have been in that kind of situation. How was it? That experience? Not really nice, right? What kind of thoughts accompanying this experience? Was that feeling of love, happiness, bless? Or maybe confusion, frustration and anger? Didn’t you think in such moments something like that? – What that person knows about me? About my life, my current circumstances, my goals and plans? Nothing or very little. And yet it decided to lecture me. How dare this person do this?
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Well, how dare you, wish to be able to do this? You might think that you know better what is good for the other person. Are you really know that? Can you be a hundred per cent sure? Do you know that person in and out? This person plans, goals, circumstances? And yet, you think you can, maybe even, that you should try to change this person. Are you some sort of god? You do not like to be told to change, right? You might feel inside resistance to every suggestion that you need to change. What do you think the other person feels and most likely what it will do? Exactly, it will resist, in this, we all are alike.
This kind of believing that we know better what is good for others, and urge to change them, might come from two kinds of assumptions. The first one is that you are superior to others, you are the best of the bests. It is your ego, whispering in your ear, this kind of thoughts and making you blind to the truth, that we are all equal. Even if we have different ways of thinking and behaving. The second assumption is the opposite. You might not believe in your self, lack self-confidence and trust in yourself. This is especially when you want to change someone as its behaviour or saying is offending to you.
The thing that you might want to consider, to improve your life and have more satisfaction from it, is to stop wanting to change anyone in any way. Let them be as they are, or want to be. This is their issue, not yours. You can only transform your life, your thinking, your beliefs and habits. If you want to and if you decided to. You can only, step by step, every day build your trust in yourself. In your skills and abilities. Forgetting and forgiving other peoples attempts to trying to improve you. Instead, being your best friend, taking care and forgiving yourself. Training self in positive thinking, kind perceiving yourself and your life. Building your life on love, acceptance and kindness. And most importantly, just enjoying your life.
Blessings upon you my friend.
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