Do you get sometimes feeling that you act as not you? Let say something happens and, when usually you are not bothered by this, this one time you blow up like a volcano. Or watching a comedy, you start to laugh so hard, you can’t stop. Or watching an animation, you get so emotional that you start to cry, what usually not happens.
You might have other examples of such situations where you start to act as not yourself. At least not as the image of yourself you are holding in your head. Ever wonder why that happens? What does that mean? What is going on? I am quite sure you did.
The explanation is simple. Even if, consciously, you might create an image of yourself. A tough guy. A businesswoman. An emotionless badass. A beauty princess and so on. This image is just a kind of suit with a mask. You are wearing it to hide your true self. To hide feelings and emotions that you are not accepting or judge as shameful.
But, this image is you as well, at least one part of you. Yes, even if this is your conscious creation, this is part of you. The part you allow yourself to show up to the world. The part that, might give you some privileges or protection. Showing this part makes you feel safe. But it is just covering the rest of your elements.
At some point in your life, you decided that this one part is more suitable for you. That you feel good and, most importantly, safe, expressing yourself in this way. You cover all the other pieces of your personality. Push them deep inside you.
But those pieces are still there in you. And on some occasions they surface. This is the surprising moment when, after, you think, who was that acting using your body? What just happen? Why have I reacted like this? Why have I reacted so intensively? What can you do about that?
Well, the first impulse you might have is to push that part of you, even deeper. This will not work. Pushing emotions deeper, create resistance. And, at some point, you will express them. Most likely, when least expected. The best way is to accept those part of you. Accept that you have them in you. And allow yourself to express them when you feel safe, in a harmless way.
Be positive, be blessed, peace out.