Do you consider yourself a friendly person? What do others think about you? Do people like your company or rather they are avoiding you? Do you like your company? Would you like to be your friend? Are you, a friend for yourself or rather an enemy? Why this is important and how can you become a friend with yourself? Find this in material to follow.
What kind of person you are?
When you are in a group of people, you might like to be in the centre of it. Leading every activity. Showing off a little. Being a soul of that group. And that is ok. On the other hand, you might like to be in a group but more as a follower. Who enjoys the activities with others, but do not necessarily want to be the one who comes up with them or lead them. And that’s fine too. Not everyone needs to be a leader. But what is more important in that kind of circumstances, is how do you and others perceive you. In a sense do others like to be around you? How about you? Do you like to be with yourself? Do you like your company?
How about helping others? Do you help others, show them kindness and support? Or do you laugh and criticise everything they do? All aspects of their appearance and all efforts they put in anything. What about yourself? How do you act and perceive yourself? Your actions and efforts in your doings, whatever it is that you are doing. How do you think about yourself and your appearance? What do you say to yourself and about yourself? Do you like yourself? Or you are your most sworn critic?
You might never have thought about that before. You might never actually consider this as something important. Even now you might ask yourself, why should I think about that? What this kind of knowledge will give me. Do I need this information, for any particular reason? Why? What for? Those are very good questions. I am quite sure you have your own answers to them already. I’ll gladly find out what do you think. Please, share your opinions in the comment section. I will read all of them and we can have a discussion if you like.
Why should you consider the way you are perceiving yourself?
But now, why should you be more careful about the way you are perceiving yourself. The way you treat yourself. Talk to and about yourself? What happens anytime someone is pointing out some of your flaws to you? Is that nice? Do you feel better if someone is doing this? Even if it is saying, that this is for your own good. To help you improve. Evolve. Does this make it easier to comprehend? I know that sometimes we need to be corrected in our doings. That sometimes we need someone, who will help us to see our missteps. And it is good to have someone like that.
Nevertheless, do you need to be corrected all the time? Does all of your doings are wrong? Do you need a kind of guardian, critic or in the worst-case scenario, executioner to correct you? My guess is not really. Yet, this is, what many people do to themselves. Are you one of them? Do you criticise everything about you? About your doings, your physical appearance, your actions. thoughts and emotions? How do you feel in such moments? Does this kind of behaviour make you feel any better? Do you feel in such moments worthy or worthless? Full of energy and willing to act or like a flat balloon, not willing to do anything?
How would your attitude shift, if you would acknowledge your mistake or flaw in your appearance. And then, you would talk to yourself as a friend. But not the one, often shown on screen nowadays. Not the one that is laughing at you and pointing out everything that, in its opinion, is wrong about you. I am thinking about a real friend. One who will show you kindness and give you a helping hand seeing your struggle. One that will talk with you, helping you find your own solutions to your problems. One that is carrying and offer you support. One that will have your back whenever you need it. Can you become that kind of friend? More importantly, can you become like that for yourself?
How can you become your friend?
The task of becoming a friend is actually very easy. Helpful in finding this, might be our favourite pen and paper. Just take some time to think and write down answers to some questions. Such as, what kind of person would you like to meet? What kind of person I would like to have as my friend? What kind of characteristics I would like this person to have? What values does this person need to regard? What I would accept in this person, even if it is not aligned with my own beliefs? What I would not accept in any case?
Notice that the main focus here is on beliefs and values, not on appearance. This also can be added to your list. Thou, would you rather meet with someone who shares similar values to yours, even if it does not look like, let say, Angelina Jolie or Will Smith? Or you would don’t mind being friends with someone rich, beautiful or handsome, yet valuing things, that are completely against your beliefs? Someone, who would treat you as an errand person. You don’t have to believe me, and you might want to find that for your own. Yet, from my experience, in a long run, this would create more issues than it is worth it.
These kinds of questions from above will help you realise your own values and find out what type of people you would like to have around. At the same moment, you will discover if you are matching this description. This will help you to learn if you need to make some adjustments in your behaviour. You can start to make and test those adjustments on yourself. Every time you make some mistake or you find something you don’t like in yourself, pause for a second. Acknowledge this fact. And then show yourself compassion and kindness. Create a plan to fix this, if possible. And follow this plan.
We shortly talk about what is your perception of yourself, why it is important how do you perceive yourself and what you could do in case you want to be yourself, and others, friend.
In any case, you would like to know more or need some support, I would love to help you with this. Just drop me a message in the comment section.
Blessings upon you my friend.
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