Where would you search for a dropped item? In the place, it fell? Or in some other place with more supporting your search conditions? Simple right? Is it really, though?
What some tend to do?
I know how silly those questions might sound. Some time ago, though, I have written a post about lost keys. It is based on a story I have heard years back. You can read it whole, here. The story says about a man who is searching for his keys under the streetlamp. He even gets help from his neighbour. The thing is this man dropped these keys in the room. But there was no source of light in the room. And so, he decided to search for them in a more, in his opinion, convenient place.
As you see it sounds silly, right? Seeking something, not in the place where you might drop it or lose it. Moving the search for the lost thing, into the palace where there are better conditions for seeking. It does not matter, that the item is in a completely different area. It does not matter that you are aware of this. Here you have perfect conditions for searching. Maybe a light, a clear, flat ground. This is all that matters.
Without judging, you might be sure that whoever would be doing this, will not find his or her lost thing. Or maybe? Though this is the thing a lot of people is actually doing? No, not with the real lost things, like glasses or keys. But we tend to look for an answer to our troubles outside, in the world. Usually also, blaming for those problems, everyone and everything around us. Sound familiar? This is like searching for a lost item in a place where it is easier to search. Omitting the well-known fact that it was lost in a different place.
Why you might want to?
We do this for a simple reason. As with the key example. The circumstances are better for searching outside. It is easier to look outside. Most of the time, even to find something or someone to blame for the situation that happens to us. For troubles. Unfortunate circumstances. And so on and so forth. No?
Let me ask you something. How many times you were mad at some “incompetent” person? Who, in your opinion makes your life hard. For example at a person, from the insurance company that, could not accept some form of your documents. In your opinion, this person is just stubborn and stupid and unwilling to help you. But is it really? Do you want this person to bend or break the rules, endangering its position, just to make you happy?
It is easy to blame others. It is easy to push responsibility on others. And I get that. You as we all, including me, want to have an easy and untroubled life, right? A life where everything goes smoothly and effortlessly. No one like to take responsibility. No one like to search for the true answer in the darkness of your own mind and soul. Usually, it is an unpleasant experience. The thing for all of us is to understand that all of the answers we have inside us.
How to search?
As difficult and obnoxious it might appear to you this idea. This is the truth. And deep in you, you know that. Similarly to the knowledge, that you already poses all the answers, to all your troubles. Sometimes, you might not want to or be just afraid of admitting to this fact. On other occasions, you might not be fully aware of that. And just need someone who will ask the right answers and help you to dig out those answers. Give you a nudge to get to those answers, will check up on your progress and support you on your way to find and use those truths.
There are also, many tools, that might help you to do this by yourself. Like, for example, writing or as it is now more popular named journaling. You just write down on the paper, all that you feel about your troubles. Write everything without thinking about that. Without judging if it is bad or wrong. Just write it down. Release it from you. It is a safe way to free yourself from negative emotions that might be swirling inside you. It is a safe way to confront your emotions. Even if it will be like writing one word across several pages for a few days, as I did on different occasions, writing just one simple word, “NO”
I need to admit, I was not believing in this technic for a long time. I was a very sceptical person, not only with that but with many things. Though, I am a very curious person as well. So, every time, no matter how ridiculous something sounds for me, first I try it on myself before I accept it and share it if it works. Or I will just keep silent if it did not work. Though, this does not mean that the technic will work for you. This is a powerful technic, so keep an open mind and just give it a go for some time, before you decide if it is for you or not. I am usually testing the thing for at least 21 days. But that’s me.
During these few minutes with me, you learn, how, we people, like to search outside us for answers for our problems. You learn why this is not really working and I gave you one simple technic you can use. In any case, you would like to know more or need some support, I would love to help you with this. Just drop me a message on the links provided below.
Blessings upon you my friend.
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Business & Mentality Coach I will support YOU in finding Clarity, growing your business, creating a clear plan of action and overcoming any blockages. Contact me for details and so we can see if this is a good fit. Facebook - LinkedIn - Contact page.