We all have a wide spectrum of emotions that we feel. Even the calmest, positive or happy person from time to time feel anger, anxiousness, sadness.
If that happens to you.
- Do not run away from those feelings.
- Do not try to hide them.
- Do not try to pretend that it not exist or you don’t feel it.
You might be scared that when you will allow yourself to feel that emotion. It will blow up and harm you or your other people. In reality, hiding, running away or pretending this emotion is not yours or you not feeling it, is the worst solution you may think of. This hidden emotion, won’t disappear. It will grow inside you, will get stronger, multiply itself. Finally, it will surface as a phobia, addiction or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), such as double-checking of things or tapping, counting and so on. Do you want this? What can you do?
First of all, admit that you feel this negative emotion. Then start a dialogue with yourself ask questions about that emotion:
- where it comes from,
- what is its meaning,
- what is the truth about it?
For example, consider the following situation. You get mad as your partner is late from work. You feel bad, maybe angry, annoyed. You even might start to think that your partner doesn’t respect you. Don’t love you, don’t care. The dialogue could look as follow.
– Wait for a second, do I really think this all has no sense?
– No, not all.
– Do I really think he not respecting me?
– No, it’s just slipped out from my mouth.
– Do I really believe he doesn’t love me?
– No, I do not believe in that, It was rush opinion.
– So my whole anger, anxiety comes from something that is not even true and I do not believe in it, right? This, all negativity was not even real. Was just an illusion, yes?
– Actually, that’s right. Just because he is late, it is not proving anything. Simply something pops up on his way home.
– So, what might be the deeper, hidden meaning? One which is precious or even priceless for me.
– We go out on the trip later, we’ll meet different people, situations. Maybe, because of that, we will avoid an accident or other danger.
– So actually, his lateness is something good. I should thank him for that. I’ve just wanted to control the situation, where I have no impact on the speed world spin. I even did not need that anger, so it disappears. And I feel happy that we are together and we are going out.
The key here is to ask questions and honestly answer. This confrontation will allow you to safely manifest the negative emotion and in effect make it disappear.