In your belief, usually by years of seeing and experiencing this, you might create an expecting kind of style of living. You give someones a gift, expecting to get something in return. You help someone, awaiting that it will give you something back. You are kind to someone assuming, that this person will repay you somehow. Those returns do not have to be of material, physical kind. It does not have to be money or other goods. You might expect to be praised, to get help when you need it, to be noticed, to see gratitude. This kind of way of living makes your life harder. More difficult and less satisfying, less happy. How is that?
Well, expectations are nothing else as forcing people to be the way you wish. Manipulating them to behave according to your wish. You might not be aware of that, but in reality, doing this, you do not actually care what those people think and feel. You do not consider their habits, customs and beliefs. You act as you are some kind of demigod, a king, who deserve to be treated your way. This brings more damage to you than you might imagine. It is painful and stressful for both sides. For you, as you do not get what you expect, as the other person does not behave as you wish. For that person, as it feels rejected by you, not accepted as it is.
Do you want that? Do you want other people to feel bad? More importantly, do you want to feel bad? So, what can you do? Firstly, think, why you give or help someone? If you do this to get something in return, well you know where this goes. Stop thinking about getting returns. Stop expecting them. Give just because you want to. Not because you have to, or you presume, that other person, will give you something back. Be helpful without waiting for help in return. Be kindly open to people. Spread goodness and kindness. Do this with understanding and assumption, that this way you are making someone’s day better. Giving goodness and kindness, increase these values in the world. Making it a better place.
Though, do not get caught in the other extreme. To giveaway everything. To live the life of a bestower, ascetic or misanthrope. I do believe in the fair exchange of goods and resources. Yes. The point is to not always look for that. When you just want to give someones a gift or you help someone, do this without expecting or even thinking about compensation. When, on the other hand, you do business with someone, look at, how you can give this person more value. How can you serve someone? What can you give extra? What more, can you offer, to make this person day? This way you are still spreading kindness and goodness in the world. Remember, expect less from the world and people and give them more. More freedom to be themselves, more goods, more services. And the universe will take care of you and it will support you, in a way you might not even expect.
Blessings upon you my friend.
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